Hi Bess, wanted to reach out- just stumbled across this and your story. As a fellow doc (child psychiatrist in London) and new mum - I was completely moved to tears as I read your words. Your heartbreak and love (and neural change) transcends worlds in a way many will never know. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing.
That was exquisite. It tore into my heart, and each word stitched something new into me. Wow, Bess. Just wow. Athena split from your body, like the goddess from the head of Zeus, born inside the pain of her mother, who a god had consumed. The allegory in this and your story is so rich. Thank you for sharing. For you, for Jake, and your Athena.
Truly heartbreaking and beautifully written. I’m so sorry for your loss and grateful for the new life you get to forge with your girl. I was a first time mum at 42 and it changed me drastically, too. I can’t imagine doing it whilst grieving my husband. You have an unimaginable strength and you are doing great.
I can identify with this unraveling of the self after big loss. The pieces I hung my hat on... just no longer apply. We lost our daughter two years ago. The motherhood and grief mash-up are profoundly transformative. I wonder what you'll create from here. Thank you for sharing your journey so beautifully.
My fiancé died in 2015. I turned 40 right afterward. I am saying prayers for you. The way out is the way through, even though it is hard. Please stay strong and be as good to yourself and your daughter as you can. You WILL find yourself again. It takes time but it does happen. Blessings~
Oh Beth. I have written a song called Before & After to describe what happens to those of us left behind. You write beautifully about your live story and the ongoing dance between grief and awe. I host a Grief Café every two months and you are welcome to join. I will gift it to you. Sending ❤️.
Wow, Bess. Your essay is absolutely beautiful—heart-wrenching and deeply moving all at once. I found myself in tears as I read your words, completely touched by your story. It holds such incredible power. Sending you so much love, peace, and strength 💛
Thank you for sharing. Your story moved me to tears as I’m navigating the grief of losing a pregnancy. It’s not quite the same, but I too, have found comfort in knowing that my baby’s cells are still with me
May you find peace and comfort in writing your feelings. May your life from here on be everything you need and want it to be. I send so much good vibes your way from one human to another. Please take care.
Thank you for this beautiful and heart breaking essay. As a PA who lost her dad the day after her wedding (two days after a hospital wedding, all because a clinical trial immunotherapy “couldn’t” be extended and his aggressive lymphoma immediately returned despite complete resolution on the drug…) I empathize so much with your struggles with your husbands healthcare. And as someone who is suffering through her fourth miscarriage in the last 2 years with no children, I also hear deeply how your brain is changing irrevocably and how it feels impossible to know how you will move forward - and yet, you are and you will continue to. even and also when you are crying in the pasta aisle. Your husband was also an incredible writer, and I feel sad to know that he is no longer here to love and support you as he would like to while you raise your daughter. I don’t recommend being part of the dead dads club, but I do know having a dad that loved you so deeply and fully is healing and sustaining, even when he is not there to tell you so. wishing you so much love right where you are, and as you move forward into this future you did not anticipate but that is still in many ways, painfully good.
This is staggeringly beautiful and your words are the closest things to medicine to open a heart that I have encountered.
Hi Bess, wanted to reach out- just stumbled across this and your story. As a fellow doc (child psychiatrist in London) and new mum - I was completely moved to tears as I read your words. Your heartbreak and love (and neural change) transcends worlds in a way many will never know. Thank you for writing. Thank you for sharing.
That was exquisite. It tore into my heart, and each word stitched something new into me. Wow, Bess. Just wow. Athena split from your body, like the goddess from the head of Zeus, born inside the pain of her mother, who a god had consumed. The allegory in this and your story is so rich. Thank you for sharing. For you, for Jake, and your Athena.
Truly heartbreaking and beautifully written. I’m so sorry for your loss and grateful for the new life you get to forge with your girl. I was a first time mum at 42 and it changed me drastically, too. I can’t imagine doing it whilst grieving my husband. You have an unimaginable strength and you are doing great.
Cancer fucking sucks. Thank you for writing this. Sending warmth to you and your daughter.
I can identify with this unraveling of the self after big loss. The pieces I hung my hat on... just no longer apply. We lost our daughter two years ago. The motherhood and grief mash-up are profoundly transformative. I wonder what you'll create from here. Thank you for sharing your journey so beautifully.
My fiancé died in 2015. I turned 40 right afterward. I am saying prayers for you. The way out is the way through, even though it is hard. Please stay strong and be as good to yourself and your daughter as you can. You WILL find yourself again. It takes time but it does happen. Blessings~
All mothers we are cats we have nine lives
Oh Beth. I have written a song called Before & After to describe what happens to those of us left behind. You write beautifully about your live story and the ongoing dance between grief and awe. I host a Grief Café every two months and you are welcome to join. I will gift it to you. Sending ❤️.
This is deeply moving and beautiful. Your words are descriptive and heavy with meaning. I’m at a loss for more to say except that I’m so very sorry ❤️
Wow, Bess. Your essay is absolutely beautiful—heart-wrenching and deeply moving all at once. I found myself in tears as I read your words, completely touched by your story. It holds such incredible power. Sending you so much love, peace, and strength 💛
just hugs and sending strength your way
Just here to say how beautiful your words are and that they moved me into deeper feelings of love and appreciation, thank you ❤️
Thank you for sharing. Your story moved me to tears as I’m navigating the grief of losing a pregnancy. It’s not quite the same, but I too, have found comfort in knowing that my baby’s cells are still with me
May you find peace and comfort in writing your feelings. May your life from here on be everything you need and want it to be. I send so much good vibes your way from one human to another. Please take care.
Thank you for this beautiful and heart breaking essay. As a PA who lost her dad the day after her wedding (two days after a hospital wedding, all because a clinical trial immunotherapy “couldn’t” be extended and his aggressive lymphoma immediately returned despite complete resolution on the drug…) I empathize so much with your struggles with your husbands healthcare. And as someone who is suffering through her fourth miscarriage in the last 2 years with no children, I also hear deeply how your brain is changing irrevocably and how it feels impossible to know how you will move forward - and yet, you are and you will continue to. even and also when you are crying in the pasta aisle. Your husband was also an incredible writer, and I feel sad to know that he is no longer here to love and support you as he would like to while you raise your daughter. I don’t recommend being part of the dead dads club, but I do know having a dad that loved you so deeply and fully is healing and sustaining, even when he is not there to tell you so. wishing you so much love right where you are, and as you move forward into this future you did not anticipate but that is still in many ways, painfully good.
“I do know having a dad that loved you so deeply and fully is healing and sustaining, even when he is not there to tell you so”
This is comforting to hear. Thank you ❤️