This is all so moving, and beautiful, loving and touching. The words about not sweating the small stuff really hit the mark. Sending hugs from France to the two of you.
My wife and I sometimes try to talk about the after times but it is so difficult. She thinks that by talking about them, she is accepting my death but she doesn't want to accept that.
Same with my stuff. I mostly just have books and records and pictures but it will be a chore to deal with them when I am gone. I like the idea of nominating someone to help her. It makes me sad to think of my life being packed up in boxes and given away and I sometimes think I should do this myself now, while I am able, and find proper new homes for my possessions. But they are my possessions! If I can't enjoy them now — even by just looking at them on shelves — why did I even have them?
This bit is not easy for anyone but having looked at this from both sides now, I know it is survivable. You'll be OK Beth and so will my wife. You won't want to be OK but you will anyway.
Have you heard of Swedish death cleaning? https://www.thespruce.com/swedish-death-cleaning-4801461. I think it's an interesting idea in terms of getting rid of extra stuff, but it's easier said than done. I like the idea of nominating someone to help her, too. Jake has asked a few of our friends to play that role for me, as I've asked him not to get rid of many of his things, but he also knows I won't be able to handle it in the moment. I'll need the help. I think its nice to know exactly who will be helping. It takes some mental weight off.
This is all so moving, and beautiful, loving and touching. The words about not sweating the small stuff really hit the mark. Sending hugs from France to the two of you.
My wife and I sometimes try to talk about the after times but it is so difficult. She thinks that by talking about them, she is accepting my death but she doesn't want to accept that.
Same with my stuff. I mostly just have books and records and pictures but it will be a chore to deal with them when I am gone. I like the idea of nominating someone to help her. It makes me sad to think of my life being packed up in boxes and given away and I sometimes think I should do this myself now, while I am able, and find proper new homes for my possessions. But they are my possessions! If I can't enjoy them now — even by just looking at them on shelves — why did I even have them?
This bit is not easy for anyone but having looked at this from both sides now, I know it is survivable. You'll be OK Beth and so will my wife. You won't want to be OK but you will anyway.
Best wishes.
Have you heard of Swedish death cleaning? https://www.thespruce.com/swedish-death-cleaning-4801461. I think it's an interesting idea in terms of getting rid of extra stuff, but it's easier said than done. I like the idea of nominating someone to help her, too. Jake has asked a few of our friends to play that role for me, as I've asked him not to get rid of many of his things, but he also knows I won't be able to handle it in the moment. I'll need the help. I think its nice to know exactly who will be helping. It takes some mental weight off.
I'm gonna bring up the Help With Stuff this weekend. My next door neighbour is a big music fan so that's the records taken care of!